This week lesson on conflict has really been surreal for me. A few months ago my company decided to close operations at my childcare center and combine with another center that was close to us. They had placed a new director there and wanted me to mentor her and help her get the center at the same quality level as my center was. Unfortunately the director did not welcome my help and would undermine things that I had put in place. Staffs that were used to working in an atmosphere of quality childcare were now in a place that was not being operated with quality in mind. The tension between the director and me came to the point that I decided to just step away from the center to let her have full control. I informed my supervisor about the uncomfortable situation. Although I am no longer at the center, I still feel a commitment to the families and staff and feel that I have abandon them.
The strategies that I was trying to use in this situation is to not provoke the new director anymore with a conflict and that is why I decided that mentoring her was not in my best interest or hers. We have incompatible goals - mine is quality childcare and her goal is being financially stable with the company. My motto has always been that if you provide quality childcare, you will make the money. I tried to reassure the director that I did not want her job but wanted to help her be successful. I feel that I communicated my intent effectively but apparently not and so that is why I decided to walk away from a potential conflict that probably would have escalated. By learning this week about non-violent communication has helped me know that I did the right thing by walking away. Please pray that I will overcome this bitterness that I have towards her.
The strategies that I was trying to use in this situation is to not provoke the new director anymore with a conflict and that is why I decided that mentoring her was not in my best interest or hers. We have incompatible goals - mine is quality childcare and her goal is being financially stable with the company. My motto has always been that if you provide quality childcare, you will make the money. I tried to reassure the director that I did not want her job but wanted to help her be successful. I feel that I communicated my intent effectively but apparently not and so that is why I decided to walk away from a potential conflict that probably would have escalated. By learning this week about non-violent communication has helped me know that I did the right thing by walking away. Please pray that I will overcome this bitterness that I have towards her.
Deborah,
ReplyDeleteIt seems the director was not looking at the best interest of the children. Because I only read one side of the scenario, I can only surmise that she was in fact intimidated by you. As we have learned, in order to have a positive outcome all parties involved must feel that their opinions are important. I hope all goes well with your situation.
I think it was a good decision for you to step back and avoid any more conflict. Sometimes it is hard to understand others but maybe the director you were trying to mentor had a bad expereince in the past. Her animousity might not be toward you but in a way you are the one feeling the negative vibe. Try not to be hard on yourself. I can tell this center has a special place in your heart. You did your part and good luck.
ReplyDeleteDeborah,
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have some really great insight about the situation. It is too bad that the other director was too stubborn to accept your help, I'm sure you could have really improved things. I can tell that your heart is in the right place and eventually that will pay off. You did everything you could have done and made the mature decision to just leave. I do hope you overcome that bitterness you are feeling, after all it is stealing YOUR joy!